Envisage.

What's stacked up in the confines of the future, you never know. Every blink of an eye and every breath add up to a certain point, a finish line and we call it destiny. No one can say what you would be and what you'd become. Every path you walk into holds checkpoints that helps you navigate towards it and to tell you that there exists an endpoint. From that checkpoint lays countless paths with limitless possibilities and you are n your own to choose the right one. One wrong turn and you could end up nowhere and no possibility to trace back your steps and right the wrongs you did, all that could be done is start over as a new beginning but there comes the barbaric and vicious time that shows no mercy on the few who are lost.

Even with this uncertainty we never stop weaving our dreams, dreams with the delicate threads of imaginations that tend to break with a touch of life's bitterness. We fall, we get hurt, and tend not to break down, crawling and dragging ourselves through the hurdles only with a hope that the future might hold something better for us. This hope is the only thing that brings all the lost souls back on track and which keeps us alive. So dream on!!!! Even though you fall and break down you get back on your feet, dust yourself up and keep moving till you find what you are in search of. Success is never a success if it’s not succeeded by a failure. 

A feeling of emptiness

Everything fades away. Every little things that hurts fades away, scars remain, scars remain carved underneath your skin running through your veins constantly reminding you of the past and the misery. Here we are Contriving the thoughts from the past and surmising the future in despair and disbelief. Tomorrow is another day where you try to break out from the abyss, where you chase a dream of light in the yard of darkness. You either cut loose the shackles holding you up or you schlep them as if it were your own. 

Things that used to make you happy, which used make you feel alive go down in the memory lane and every time you drive in to that lane, you feel you just lived a dream and when you open your eyes and find yourself into stuck in a limbo so much so that you don't know if you exist or not. Everything you loved is breaking in to pieces and burying itself beneath the earth and  you are alone with complete darkness within and around,you don't feel pain, loss, suffering or happiness just a feeling of non-existence. A feeling of emptiness.

God and Faith.

"Life doesn't hurt until you think about how much things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault"

After all the twaddle he said earlier so to speak, its actually just the beginning, beginning of a saddened blogger with so 'full of shit' thoughts  that the readers will go through. Its not that it requires a caboodle of appreciation or recognition, just someone to connect with it and say "Oh there is someone who can understand what going on in my life but hey! My life isn't that bad after all and this dude has some serious shit going on". This is just a way to tell you to deal with it, there are much worse things that can happen that you can't possibly imagine.

So to continue there is one thing he one thing that he strongly believes and disapproves at the same time and that is 'GOD' the universal life force. Somewhere in his heart he believes in the almighty so much and with strong connections but on the contrary he does not know how to express his belief to the almighty 'peace be upon him'. He simply ignores all the things the people with faith do in order to be accepted and in order for him to shower blessings on them or simply put he just questions the way people offer the prayers and rituals. 

He is a confused souls in search of answers, answers about faith, destiny and our existence. should he fear the God and tune up his faith in him and do what everyone does or show people what an atheist he is. May be its just the laziness or things are just fucked up in his head and this is the way he deals with it. Mom and dad tried to put some sense in to him and they tried their level best but he is just faith illiterate. He says " why do we have to do the things we do and pray every time and follow the exact rules of prayers and why cant we just sit down for a while, close our eyes and talk to him". There are friends who follow these rules like a military school regime and yet we can write a book on their sins, do we really pray to repent the sins we committed?. 

If people really think people can wash away their sins just by prayers or some dip in the river they are wrong, what happened has happened the only way will be to realise the things you have done and try to make it right. If you can't just wait for karma to act because you know karma is a ............ you cant avoid it, don't wait for it to happen in your after life, you will pay for your sins and in this life sooner or later. 

My first blog

So this is his first blog and he doesn't know what the fuck to write.I don't know anything about him. Sometimes, I so feel that I have gained every bit of knowledge about him but the very next moment he is a complete stranger to me. He is blessed with so many colours and characters or is it a curse? He thinks he is a special kind but is he? 

*** (Deep Thoughts)*** 

He just sits on a bed lying on the floor in the attic of a house he doesn't belong, there is a heater next to him that works when it desires and he is considerate enough to care but doesn't care to do anything about it, the carpet floor is a mess, caps of  beer bottles like is in to the whole getting drunk thing but he is not , worthless papers and a novel lying next to him but he is not a reader, ash tray over flowing like muddy water from a well and ash from his pipe decorating the table with a bunch of rings made by the tea cup to top that, he owns a bunch of clothes not worth to any fashion lying around the house more on a chair than in the cupboard. He knows its a mess but he doesn't bother, he knows it wrong but all he can do is stick all this shit up his ass and say  ''Oh! Crap!! it my fate!!''. He blames his  fucked up life and he can't do anything about it, he thinks he is not lazy and to be honest he is not sometimes i mean only sometimes when his non existent ass is on fire but lazy enough to ignore things and say ''Oh! Crap!! it my fate!!''.May be he is just crazy or just naive to decide what he wants  as thoughts and memories crowd his head every single night stuck in his head like a needle which can be felt but U cant do anything about it.

Contd..